would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
