My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i think my mom watched the whole time
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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