I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
