I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
