nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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