i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
