i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
