I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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