I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
