im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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