she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
