and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
no you cant smoke seaweed
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Randomize
