dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
She swung at the pinata with crutches
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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