Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
