So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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