Non-Jews are for practice
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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