I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
only if we run a train.
done.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
