Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
my mouth tastes like poor choices
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
