Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
