Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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