Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
