He had one of those small greek statue penises
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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