so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
We need to get me chipped asap
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Randomize
