Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
