This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
