he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
