How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
