I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
