Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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