in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
he just fucked me for my cheese..
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
