we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
