Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
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