Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Randomize
