I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
