Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
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