so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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