They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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