Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
