Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
