his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
