i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Randomize
