my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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