I'll bet she douches with gravy.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
