ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize