She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
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