There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
