We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
