Ambien. No doubt about it.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
