i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
did i just pee glitter
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
