how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
my poor anus
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
