Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
