i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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