The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
