do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
