I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
